I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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