I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
