why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
