Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
