i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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