She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
