I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize