i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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