I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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