Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
