Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
