I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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