everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
