I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
