Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
