Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
