arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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