got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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