problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
