He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
