At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
