She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
It's like God shit irony all over that family
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
