Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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