so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize