Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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