two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
