Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
