Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
