ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
