kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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