She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
