so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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