we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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