winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
