I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
