i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
