i may or may not be watching the land before time
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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