chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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