ADVERTISEMENT

• (248): View more from Michigan

  Food network will be on but we won't be watching

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  O by "watching" I mean "background noise"

  Fav 2 1292 668

  share tweet
  

• (904): View more from Florida

  I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion

  Fav 3 1155 3419

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.

  Fav 11 3435 1349

  share tweet
  

• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.

  Fav 9 3219 1827

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (619): View more from California

  She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...

  Fav 14 1602 3747

  share tweet
  

• (949): View more from California

  Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter

  Fav 7 1054 1809

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (716): View more from New York

  I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...

  Fav 9 1280 2797

  share tweet
  

• (813): View more from Florida

  Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina

  Fav 9 2871 1042

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.

  Fav 6 2336 886

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (515): View more from Iowa

  Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.

  Fav 5 1902 649

  share tweet
  

• (260): View more from Indiana

  I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.

  Fav 3 689 789

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (616): View more from Michigan

  You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe

  Fav 2 816 562

  share tweet
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I think I accidentally invented a religion.

  Fav 4 734 416

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.

  Fav 4 403 261

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high

  Fav 0 31 49

  share tweet
  

Randomize