Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?

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(203): omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it? http://tfl.nu/nfju

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(407): View more from Florida

cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.

(1-407): View more from Florida

the diet of an alcoholic...

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(407): cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks. (1-407): the diet of an alcoholic... http://tfl.nu/3a7v

Replies (15) Good night (4280) Bad night (763)
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(607): View more from New York

The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.

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(607): The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you. http://tfl.nu/2p1b

Replies (8) Good night (4664) Bad night (743)
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(214): View more from Texas

Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before

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(214): Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before http://tfl.nu/lurw

Replies (17) Good night (2000) Bad night (4520)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.

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(205): Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here. http://tfl.nu/viom

Replies (26) Good night (7785) Bad night (1636)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.

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(+44): Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea. http://tfl.nu/w3ht

Replies (6) Good night (2947) Bad night (918)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?

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(717): I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going? http://tfl.nu/uz7v

Replies (3) Good night (1990) Bad night (765)
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(217): View more from Illinois

If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know

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(217): If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know http://tfl.nu/k0hk

Replies (1) Good night (1394) Bad night (591)
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(434): View more from Virginia

Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...

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(434): Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave... http://tfl.nu/1k20

Replies (13) Good night (2555) Bad night (941)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.

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(337): By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day. http://tfl.nu/1a9r

Replies (7) Good night (1062) Bad night (916)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?

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(218): At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me? http://tfl.nu/x27k

Replies (3) Good night (1223) Bad night (626)
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(574): View more from Indiana

He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.

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(574): He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle. http://tfl.nu/u8g2

Replies (4) Good night (456) Bad night (1193)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.

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(865): I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday. http://tfl.nu/q5oo

Replies (0) Good night (747) Bad night (437)
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(488): View more from

Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy

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(488): Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy http://tfl.nu/12f4

Replies (6) Good night (1127) Bad night (323)
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(216): View more from Ohio

"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.

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(216): "Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said. http://tfl.nu/ej6x

Replies (0) Good night (341) Bad night (204)

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