Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!