I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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