i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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