To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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