Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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