Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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