Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
