thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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