the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
