the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Can I color on your dick again?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
