The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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