Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
