I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
