he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
