that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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