people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
