she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize