I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
