Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
sex in a hospital.. check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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