This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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