we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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