I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
