I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
